Monday, May 10, 2010

Suckerfish :)

I love this suckerfish. He came from one of my friends' husband's facebook page....I don't know if its creepy that I stole one of his pictures and I've never even met the man. But it made me happy, so I did it. Today I WILL be productive, I will NOT text boys incessantly, and I will NOT care if they don't text me back. Also, being "in love" is such a weird, undefinable thing. I must've been crazy when I wrote that. Part of me was trying to convince myself that I was because I want this particular person to be in love with me back so much....but honestly I haven't been in love since Will. I have this new little thing going on with this other boy, but I think I freaked him out, since he hasn't texted me all day and he usually does when he wakes up. Okay I know, I don't need to jump to conclusions here, and its just a text, and he's just a boy, and we've only been piddlenarfing for a week. I just hate myself for being awkward around him. But its hard when he's awkward around me. Its not even really a thing. I don't even know if I like the kid, I just haven't had time to determine whether or not I do cause we JUST started to get to know each other. Quick sidenote: I had a Matt Hoffmeister dream for the first time in a long time, and it was weird. I think even now I still have some sort of strange attachment/attraction to him, and I haven't seen nor talked to him in weeks. In my dream he said we could never be together, and it made dream-me really sad.  It started with some kind of church function or something where we were sitting at a dinner table ordering food, and someone asked Matt what had happened between us. and Matt was all mysterious, and goes "Basically nothing, but now it really would be nothing if anything were to start up again," meaning, something was different in that he could never like me now. And next I won some sort of drawing in which I received a sparkly ticket from Harding to erase any holds of any amount on my account balance. I examined this ticket in the courtyard of my old elementary school, Nichols Hills Elementary. I hope that courtyard is still there. And then the next thing I remember is driving with a Nate Allison-Matt combination (I knew it was Nate, and at the same time I knew it was Matt) and some shining guy with an ax was chasing the car, only he could run really really fast. But he slowed down as we approached this big barn that was hosting a huge party, and at that point the shiny guy's ax turned into a gun, and he started shooting at all the partygoers. This triggered a response from a bunch of the guests who were apparently allied with the shiny guy, and it turned into a big fight that Nate-Matt and I just drove away from. We stopped at a gazebo, and then the allied warrior people showed up, one of whom was Caleb Hancock. I remember something about a legend, and I was a part of the group, and Nate-Matt loved me, or something. Thats basically the end, though.  
Sooo....I leave for Peru ONE WEEK from today. How weird is that?

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