When people say college is where you learn more about yourself...they often forget to mention that this learning is a painful process that takes forEVER, and you have to begin from scratch because in reality you know absolutely nothing about what you want or who you are. I confess that I don't trust myself; I don't know whether tomorrow I will feel the same way I feel today, or if these feelings will take a 180. How can I expect anyone to want to be in a relationship with that? How am I supposed to make decisions when my emotional decision-making base flip-flops more than John Kerry? Not even just in relationships; in friendships and classes and the way I choose to use my time. I want to be less of a selfish person. I want to have the constant mindset of others before myself. I want to show Jesus to everyone I come in contact with. And I pray for these things, but just like the prayer to be able to rely more fully on God, the results are totally ambiguous. I am at a loss as to how to practically apply the characteristics I strive for in the context of my bustling life. College. You learn more about who you are and what you want. What about who I want to be? Christian support is a benefit of private institutional education, but something else they don't tell you when coming here is that you have to seek out the support, the guidance, the encouragement. Most times it doesn't show up at your dorm with a smile and a 30 page instruction manual meant specifically to deal with your problems. Conclusion: You know nothing about yourself and are confused as to where you're going in life. Go back to the counselor, you schizo.