Finals Week

I'm reading again. I forgot how fulfilling the love of a good book is. True Colors by Kristin Hannah. Haley Jane Witt said something interesting the other day; she was like "Finals week is my favorite week of the year, cause its just so relaxed. You honestly have more time than any other week." I had never looked at finals week that way, and it was rather eye-opening. I'm glad to have a new perspective.

I went skinny dipping tonight, and although it doesn't seem very daring looking back at the actual events... I feel very accomplished. We looked at the stars for a long time. I got goosebumps from the sheer number of them and the space they took up in the sky, which was absolutely cloudless and a deep indigo color. God was near to us this evening.

The walls are going up again. I forgot how good I am at this...or maybe I've never been quite this good at it. I'm a little scared that I'm really just shoving things inside my little fortress and someday someone's going to attack and the whole thing will just crumble and then explode.... but that is a scary thought, and one I am unlikely to entertain for very long because the walls make it possible for me to be pretty much happy-go-lucky all the time. I feel positive about my life. Is that God's influence or my own avoidance or a real acceptance of the situation??? I can't be sure.